What follows is the text of the tribute I gave to my Dad at his funeral.
Thanks to all of you who came today to honor and remember my father. Over the last few years, my wife, Caroline, and I have been regular visitors to Lindsborg, and have come to appreciate this wonderful little town. We have our regular visits to galleries, shops, and eating places. Note that the peanut butter cookies at the coffee bar behind the Courtyard Gallery are superb.
Over the last, nearly 2 years, and especially the last 10 days, we have been deeply impressed by the people and institutions that cared for Dad.
•Dr. Bryce Loder was both a competent professional and a truly caring individual. I would have him for my personal doctor in an instant.
•The hospital staff were excellent in providing medical care in a professional way while caring for Dad and us.
•Bethany home was just that, a wonderful home to Dad for his last 18 months. The staff there is great, and the atmosphere is unique in my admittedly limited experience. I would love to mention all their names, but suffice it to say to the staff, “You were great. Thanks.”
•Finally, thanks to Pastors Jeff and Darrell for Lindsborg Covenant Church. Their visits were appreciated by Dad and us and their ministry to us was a real comfort.
A few months ago, Dad was asked a set of questions by Anne and April, about his last wishes. This service reflects those wishes as best we could. He specifically asked me (Marion and I were present) if I would be willing to speak at his funeral. It was easy to say yes at that time. It is not so easy to fulfill that promise now.
What does one say? Where does one start? The best way to pay tribute to my dad is to tell some stories about him.
My parents raised me well.
I am an only child. Dad was 35 when I was born so I was a candidate to the stereotypical spoiled only child. I am, of course, not totally objective, but I do not think I fit the stereotype. That is a tribute to my upbringing.
Church was a given in our life. Sunday AM, Sunday PM, Wednesday PM, Bible Camp, Youth group, confirmation, etc. etc. Besides just attending, Dad (and mom) was a role model as he performed leadership, council, deacon, etc.) jobs in the church. For years he was the Sunday School Superintendent. In those days, all of the children and adults gathered for 10-15 minutes of combined activity to start Sunday School. That always included a hymn, usually a well known standard. One Sunday, my dad chose “Trust and Obey.” I am sure he regretted not checking the bulletin because the pastor’s sermon title for the day was “Not Trust and Not Obey!” With the strong role models I had, it was so easy for me to decide to follow Jesus and for that influence, I am truly grateful.
We lived a simple life, as did most people in those days. Dad did not spend money lightly, but he was not stingy. The old Ole and Lena joke with the punch line, “Then why is the light on in the kitchen!” could be about my dad. Even in the last few months in the home my Dad would ask to have the lights turned out when he went to the dining area. Some of that that attitude stuck rubbed off on me, and I used money saved from my paper as part of a down payment on a house.
We had one car in the family, even when I was a teenager and driving. Like any teenage boy, I wanted a car, but some how assumed it just couldn’t happen. (I realized later that the $2,000 of savings I had could have easily bought a car.) In the last 10 years, this topic came up, likely during a Skip-Bo game.
I asked dad why he never bought me a car. He told me that they had been willing to buy me one, and were just waiting for me to ask. Well duh I said. I never asked! Well duh! There are several lessons in this story that I am sure Jeff could turn into a sermon. But, no time for that now.
Dad was a bit geeky, a trait that I definitely have continued. He kept track of weather data (and was the official weather recorder for McPherson, for many years.) He kept an appointment calendar and address list for 30+ years - - an invaluable asset when I had to fill out security clearance paperwork. He was a long time ham radio operator (W0BBO) and a regular on the Kansas Weather Net at 3.920 kHz.
After high school graduation, I headed off to North Park. At about this time, dad began to search for relatives in Sweden.
After some time, he found then and soon went to visit. This was the start of a wonderful interaction between the Swedish Eks and the American Eklunds. As a result, he compiled a detailed genealogy that went backward, and documented the present in both Sweden and America.
He retired in 1978 and in the summer of 1979 he and mother went to Nome, Alaska as volunteers at KICY. They had a great experience. He did odd jobs, was an announcer and a DJ, and got to see Alaska. He has a real heart for their ministry as evidenced by his chosen charities.
He was proud father. As I progressed through my career, he always wanted my latest business card. I am grateful that my parents provided the opportunity for me to get an education that allowed me what success I have had. I was aware that he never had that opportunity.
He was a wonderful farfar (grandfather).
When Lukas and Becky were young and dad and mom came to visit, my mom would come on strong, as grandmothers can do with their first grandchildren. The kids would back off a bit. Dad would just sit in a chair and soon they were climbing in his lap.
In the 80’s my mother became ill, and over the space of a year, died from a long related disease. It was a hard time for him that year and after. You could see him slowly declining physically and especially mentally. I got a call from him one evening and after we had chatted a bit, he asked “What would you say if I told you I was going to get married?” Well, that was not what I expected. I told him 1) It didn’t really matter what I thought, and 2) If it was what he wanted, and would make him happy, then I was 100% supportive.
I met Marion not long after that, and liked her immediately. Over the years I have come to appreciate and love her.
I believe their marriage added many years to my dad’s life. The last few years, Marion has provided care for my dad as he declined physically. During that time she went above and beyond the call of duty. After dad died, one of the young aides took her aside and told her that the relationship between Marion and Dad gave her hope about the institution of marriage. Thank you Marion for being such a great wife to my dad, and step-mom to me and Caroline.
I want to read a few of the comments that we have received over the last few days that will give you an idea of the impact that Dad has made.
•From my friend Jon, the prototypical taciturn Swede. “Al - dignity, style and class all the way. A great role model for anyone.”
•From Bernice, Dad’s first cousin: “He was a wonderful role model in our teenage years through our adult life—always full of love, integrity, compassion and friendliness! He always seem to be a strong man and always lived the role of a man of honor, who loved the Lord!
•From Becky, his granddaughter: I have so many good memories of my grandpa, farfar. I remember him showing me how to use his ham radio and how he could talk to people all over the world with it. He even let me say hello to someone with it once. I remember he had the coolest garage, always full of wood-carving tools and of the sweet smell of freshly-cut wood. He had a great sense of humor and was kind of ornery and I'm pretty sure that's where I got my stubbornness from. But my favorite memories of my grandpa are actually from the last 10 or 15 years, when he was still my grandfather but he also became my friend. He sent me an email many years ago now asking me if I could chat online. He must have been in his mid-80s then. I said no, I didn't use a chat program, but for him, I would learn! Ever since I started studies at Duke, whenever I'd be spending a day in the library, I'd turn on the chat program, and when he came online he would open up a chat and say hello. I'll miss chatting with him online, and playing dominoes with him, but I'm glad he's finally at peace and with God, where he was longing to be.
•From Bob, our friend from Colorado Springs: “When I first met him, 30 years ago, I realized that he was a gentleman. If there were more Al Eklunds in the world it would be a much better place to live.”
•From Caroline (his daughter-in-law and my wife): “My father-in-law was very special to me. Since the day we first met in Colorado springs, I knew we were going to have a great relationship. My father passed away when I was in my early 30’s. It was very strange for me not to call anyone “Dad” anymore. When Chuck and I got married we went to visit Al and Marion. For some reason, when we greeted each other the word “Dad” just came out. So, the endearing term was attached to Al from then on. He told Marion “She called me Dad!” He was thrilled and called me his daughter at times. I will remember him for his strong faith in God. For his devotion to his family. For his incredible humor, even displaying it during his last days. I will remember how he loved me.”
Let me end by telling you about the last few days of my dad’s life. Marion called us last Thursday AM and told us the latest chest x-ray was not good and it wasn’t clear if a reversal was possible. We discussed it for a bit and decided that it was best to go. When we saw him on Friday morning he was weak and a bit confused because of the antibiotics. But, there were times when he was quite lucid and displayed his normal dry humor, (another characteristic I inherited from him.)
On Saturday, out of the blue, he asked if I knew where the song lyric came from “He combed his hair with a wagon wheel, and died from a toothache in his heel.” That sounded like gibberish to me, but Google is a wonderful thing and it didn’t take long to find the song and lyrics.
Then another lyric: “We walked arm in arm over meadow and farm.” Google to the rescue again. There was one more, but you get the idea.
Saturday evening he told us the story about how the family name went from Hakonson to Ek to Eklund, providing some details I had not heard before.
On Sunday he was moved back to the home and we ate our last family meal together at the home. Doris and Dean (sister and brother-in-law) came for a visit.
Caroline had suggested on Saturday that we have one of the pastors serve us communion. Pastor Jeff came in the late afternoon and we had a special time taking the Lords Supper.
Dad slept most of Sunday evening and as bed time neared Marion and Caroline went home. I stayed for a bit. The clock in his room chimed and dad woke up and asked me if I knew the history of the clock and the shelf it was setting on. I said no and he proceeded to tell me the story. That was the last lucid conversation I had with him.
Monday after lunch we went to visit and found him in bed, clearly sinking. We held his hands and we all told him we loved him. We said the Lord’s Prayer. We were holding his hands as he took his last breath. A word of special thanks to Debra, the nurse at the home, who was with us the whole time. She was wonderful and a great comfort.
As he died I thought of the section of the Liturgy that says “Now, with angels and archangels, and the whole company of heaven, we sing the unending hymn of your praise:
Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of hosts. Heaven and earth are full of your glory. Hosanna in the highest. Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest.” I imagined him joining in that unending hymn as one of the saints along with Myrtle, Paul, Hortense, and innumerable others.
Shortly after he died, Pastor Jeff stopped by and read one verse of scripture: Psalm 116:15. “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful ones.” That was the perfect verse for us at the time. Coincidently, Psalm 116 was part of the liturgical readings for my daily devotions the day before the funeral. I read the Psalm in the Message and really like the way Eugene Peterson translated it: “When they arrive at the gates of death, God welcomes those who love him.” Isn’t that a marvelous picture—to be met by God as we cross the threshold from this life to the next glorious life.
I don’t think we could have a better few days to say good bye than we had. It was a special for all of us.
I want to close with one more story. On Saturday he told us he wanted to go to chapel. I pointed out that it was Saturday, and that he was in the hospital, not the home, and therefore it wasn’t possible to attend chapel. He processed that for a bit, and many minutes later said we should have our own chapel right then. He said we would each quote our favorite Bible verse and that he would start first. Amazingly, his memory was better than ours. I said my verse was from Amos when it really was from Micah 6:8. After we had all quoted our verses, I closed out “chapel time” with a prayer. Dad chose John 5:24. That is the verse that he asked to be engraved on his headstone at the cemetery. And, I am going to let him say it for you. But, I need to set the stage first. In April the Midwest Conference of the Covenant Church held their annual meeting here in the Lindsborg church. Pastor Jeff asked my Dad (the oldest living member of Lindsborg Covenant) if he would give a greeting. Dad agreed, and spent much time thinking about what he would say. He was worried that Jeff would be mad at him if he went over the 5 minutes he had been given. I will admit I was a bit concerned how he would do. By the way, he talked nearly 10 minutes, and I am quite sure that no one in the audience felt it went too long. If you want to watch the entire greeting, I have posted it on YouTube. This was his last public appearance of any kind. During his greeting, he quoted his favorite Bible verse and I will conclude with him reciting the promise that was the foundation of his faith.
Watch here: http://bit.ly/bhAH5o
John 5:24 (KJV) Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
